Pharmacology Sucks!

This is day 8 of studying for the pharmacology exam, and I have to say that I have never hated a subject more. Who comes up with these names? I mean really there are only 5 vowels in the alphabet, 6 if you include Y, and in the English language they're really not suppose to string that many together. Like “Iododeoxyuridine” whose brilliant idea was that? It's like I'm speaking polish or something! I've got more then 300 flash cards, and I actually know everything on them, which seems like it should be enough to get me through this exam, and yet... many have come before me, and many have failed. Not just failed to do well on one exam, failed the entire course. Even if I feel like I know what I'm doing now, apparently that has no correlation to how well you do in the course (according to last years class). So what can I do? I’m beating my brains to the point of physical symptoms…. I get a stress headache almost immediately after I start studying. It’s like the stress headache is just part of the program, everyone I’ve talked to has one perpetually and it’s all because of the stupid, irritating, exasperating, frustrating, tiring, maddening, inconsistent, ‘learn things you can look up in a book and never have to know in real life’ PA program. This is just ridiculous; I give up, no more pharmacology.

Rant over.

Back to School

Two weeks of amazing freedom, and fantastic vacation adventures have come to an end. In eight hours it's back to school... sigh. On the bright side only 17 weeks until Christmas break.... but who's counting?

Pittsfield State Park

So Morgan and I went for a drive to Pittsfield State Park today, and they have a road up to the top of the mountain which has this gorgeous view at the top. There are all these wild flowers, and they are covered in bees. So I took a bunch of pictures and got really lucky. Check this one out, you can actually see the bee's tongue sticking into the flower to get the pollen!! Wild isn't it!

Morgan's Rose

Morgan has been working really hard this year to make a beautiful garden. He planted several roses and finally one of the plants is in full bloom, and it is absolutely stunning. I didn't think I would like orange roses, but they are so beautiful and they smell incredible.

The Haircut

For a while I've been thinking about donating my hair to locks of love, and yesterday I finally worked up the guts to do it. Locks of Love is a non-for-profit organization that makes wigs for children who have lost their hair from diseases like cancer. So I donated 13 inches! And I now have short hair for the first time in 12 years.

Freaking Out

So school has been back in session for three weeks now, and I have to say that I feel somewhat discouraged. My brain feels like its leaking. I attend all my classes, do all my work, and keep up with my reading and I still feel like I know nothing, understand nothing and retain nothing. My first exam of the term is Friday and it’s in Pathophysiology. I was a bio major in undergrad, this is stuff that should be at least a little familiar, and yet the details escape me. The worst part is that when I share my feelings with friends in my class, they all smile at me like I’m exaggerating, like I really know everything, or I’m just being dramatic. The truth is I am genuinely worried that this semester is going to kick my butt. I don’t understand Pathophysiology. Fundamentals of Clinical Medicine is taught by a series of foreign guest lecturers who have extremely heavy accents. Behavioral Medicine is taught by a nice old man who digresses about his time working in STD clinics in NYC, but has yet to teach us anything about psychiatry, and there is no text book for the course so we have no other place to get information. Diagnostic Methods is the only class that I feel remotely comfortable in, but it’s worth the fewest credits. And starting next week we begin the first part of our board exam clinical testing, which means if I don’t pass those tests I‘m not allowed to practice medicine. I’m spending 30 hours a week in class, and another 15 in the breaks between lectures and the commute, and I’m still studying when I get home. I’m tired even when I get enough sleep. I have no social life. I’m not getting to enjoy summer.

In short I’m freaking out a little.

The Last Weekend.

So I have been enjoying my time away from the program. I spent some time visiting friends, and some time relaxing, and some time working, but most of all I've been enjoying not having to study. Unfortunately that all ends on Monday. Summer classes are about to start, and I have to admit that I am thoroughly less motivated then I need to be. I would even go so far as to say I don't want to go back. It's not that I don't like what we're studying, and I do enjoy learning all that neat stuff, but the fact of the matter is that I miss the days of summer vacations. Some part of me feels like it's very unfair to be back in school and not get to have a summer break (especially when my husband gets one). Sigh... I guess this is growing up.

I don't like it.